In need of a Attitude Adjustment

So the last few weeks I have really been making an effort to get out of work more and do more social activities with people.  My project is in the toilet and is frustrating the heck out of me.  After investing so much time and energy into a project like this, it is really hard to keep an emotional distance when things are not so great with the experiments.  I have been trying to be out and about, spend more time with others and pursue some of my interests which aren’t as “escapist” as those I have been occupied with in the past.  The good news is that it is working!  I am feeling better, and I am keeping a steady work pace without being crazed about work.  I’m living a lot more balanced lifestyle again, despite that I am told this is not possible while working in science.

 

But even so, there are just those days when the experiments continue to turn up confusing and/or disappointing results.  And on these days, it is difficult to maintain a reasonable perspective…  Days when searching a coverslip for an elusive phenotype, or confronted with a Western with negative results leads to an immediate plummeting of my feeling of self-worth.  You know the days?  The ones that make you wish you could just go back to bed and sleep until it is time to graduate.

 

The weird thing is that I know that these moods are ridiculous, even as they settle in on me.  Since I am not God and don’t control the way that life works, I shouldn’t feel stupid when my results are not the ones I was hoping to see.  My life in general is an extremely blessed one.  I am surrounded by interesting people and have a fairly unique opportunity to explore new territory.  My family isn’t encountering any serious issues and my parents are in good health.  I have a wonderfully understanding and supportive boyfriend.  I have plenty of fun and caring friends.  I am making adequate money to make me happy, I really don’t desire any more material goods.  So why, with such an abundance of good fortune, does my work possess the power to make me feel so lousy?

 

I feel like it is time to reframe my perspective on life, remember that graduate school is not the end of my career path, no matter how it turns out.  Likewise, keep in mind that my career path doesn’t define me or the sum of my worth.  Focus on the excitement that can accompany the exploration and curiosity in science.  Recall that I am surrounded by those I care for and whom return the favor…